Category Archives: Writings

My Tolerance For Pain – From the Eyes of Another

I handle pain well. What most people would consider painful, I can bare, but just because I can does that mean I should? I still feel the same pain they do.

I think this does me a disservice. You see, I’m like the British in this manner, “Oh dear, it would appear my arm has been just been separated from my body. Well I must say, this certainly will make texting most rather difficult.”

Ok, I’m not to that level. Ask my wife. If I get a kidney stone, I’ll be screaming Bloody Mary.

But I feel like doctors see this nonchalance and brush me off. Recently in dealing with my teeth, the doctor gave me codeine when I asked for something stronger.

His response, “You appear to be handling the pain fine so that should do the trick.”

Now, I wanted to grab him by the arm, pull him in close to me and say softly, “Listen Doctor, I don’t care what you think you see. I’m in pain. Now I think it’s time you start taking my words seriously or we’re both going to be experiencing the same level of pain together, and I’m not sure you want that.”

I wanted to do that, but that would make me seem like a crazy person and certainly wouldn’t accomplish my goal. I’m working very hard not to come off as the crazy type, so these actions would be counter to my “Remain Sane” agenda. Therefore I chose a different route.

I smiled and agreed.

Then I began to realize something.

I never smile and agree.

What is this? As a male I demanded what was coming to me and the world be damned if I didn’t get it.

And I got it.

Now, I just don’t feel like my opinion is heard or matters.

Is this because I’m transitioning?

Is this the activation of preprogrammed behavior combined with the lack of competition creating testosterone, compounded by the preprogramming of the other individual now that they see me as female?

I thought females were the “weaker” sex. So give me my pills right?

That can’t be it.

Or could it?

I don’t know. Right now, I’m going to chalk it up to trying to be pleasant when I want to scream my head off. Next time, I’ll choose the latter. They usually just give me whatever to shut me up then.

And that’s fine with me.

 – Charlize <3

Cover image credit: Unknown

Coming Out to Your Partner as Transgender – HuffPost Blog

This is my fourth post on the Huffington Post Blog and I wrote it to help illustrate the complexity of coming out as transgender to your partner so that our allies could better understand, but also to remind any transpeople still in the closet that they need to speak their truth. If you love your partner and more importantly yourself, there is no time like now to begin your future.

(Click here to be taken to the article on the Huffington Post Blog.)

I can’t tell you enough how special Erin is. No other partner of mine ever stood up to me and told me straight out, “No. You’re not leaving me.” When she said those words, it stopped me dead in my tracks.

I had never met anyone as stubborn as me or even capable of combating my stubbornness.  I was dumbfounded

I tried several times to break up with her but I couldn’t because truthfully I love her and you can’t hide from the truth.

We laugh about the moment when I finally told her on the bed.

She had been reading a book before we talked through everything till I was assured that she still loved me and would continue to. That’s when she asked if it was ok for her to go back to reading her book.

I, of course, had no objections. I was in my own world, flabbergasted. I kept asking her if this was real. It was hard for me to believe.

But she smiled and kept reading.

Of course it was way more complicated than that, but we like to joke that I told I was transgender and she basically said;

“That’s cool, mind if I go back to reading now?”

Yeah. She’s that awesome and I love her always.

 – Charlize <3

Cover image credit: Shutterstock

 

Becoming the Parent of a Transgender Child – Huff Blog

This piece isn’t just for the parents to realize their transgender child’s needs, but also for the child to have something to convince their parents that we are in pain, and we need help. In a loving family, anything is possible. I hope that this post helps someone out there, anyone. A parent to realize what’s at stake or for a child the courage to step forward and speak their truth. Be brave little ones, and parents please be loving. You are everything to them. Don’t forget.

Click here to be taken to the article on the Huffington Post Blog

 – Charlize <3

Cover image credit: Nossa Productions (Getty Images)